Valentines Reflections
by niccoyne12
Summary: Harry reflects on his life since the war and on how he and his lover ended up in their present situation. Summary is terrible. ONESHOT. By the way this is the lowest rating I have ever given any of my work!


**A/N:** So its Valentines Day and I decided to write something sappy. But then I ended up writing this. I dont know how to explain it, its really a reflection of how I feel at the moment what with everything that is going on in my life. I suppose there is romance in it, but there is a strong feeling of hurt and guild and sadness in it as well. Just something for everyone who might be a bit bitter today and wants something to make them feel a bit better!

**A/N2:** Ok I know its not Valentines Day, my computer crashed! But hey better late than never:D

**DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing. . .*checks birth certificate* nope I'm still not J.K Rowling. Damn. All characters belong to JKR and Warner Brothers along with Scholastic and Bloomsbury.

_February 14th_

Standing close together down by the lake, the two lovers gazed across the water at the white tomb. There was a comfortable silence between them, the sort of silence that acknowledges what is not being said. Moving pliantly behind his companion Harry wrapped his arms around the slender waist and buried his face in the soft hair. Nearby lay the remnants of a picnic. The candles were burning low and the bottle of wine was empty. The bowl of chocolate had been licked clean and the strawberries devoured. All was quiet and still. Harry pressed his lips to the temple of his partner, this moment was far from perfect, but neither was it stressed or worried. It was comfortable and companionable. The Giant Squid was eating the scraps that had been thrown into the lake, as the sun set behind the mountains which threw everything into their shadow. The silence was broken only by the hooting of owls and the occasional screeching of a thestral. Harry shuddered involuntarily as he remembered the vast number of people that would now be able to see the thestrals.

The guilt that remained from that battle, from that war, would never cease. It haunted his every waking moment and although he was learning to live with it, it was not easy. Every day as he went about the work he loved, he thought of all the people that had died in his name, died fighting on his side, died because he could not save them. He knew in his heart that he was being irrational; there was no way he would have been able to save everyone., but there were some that he knew he should have saved or protected. Fred, Colin, Remus, Tonks, Sirius, Dobby, Mad-Eye, Dumbledore, even Crabbe and Hedwig. He was never going to be able to forgive himself for their deaths because every one of them had been his fault. The one death he didn't regret was the death of the man who had caused all the pain and heartbreak before Harry knew any better. Harry knew that the deaths of a few had aided in the revenge of many, but he could not comprehend why those few had to be the ones he held so close to his heart. Why they had to be the ones to desert him.

Pulling himself from his reverie Harry tightened his grip on the slim waist and smiled when he found his fingers intertwined with those of another. He needed this support, the love and affection that only one person in the world had ever been able to give him. But like everything else it had come at a price. He had lost more people because of it, people he had once considered family were now nothing more than a memory. He could not blame himself, for he knew that nothing could have ever stood in the way of the inevitable. True love did not happen often, not even in the wizarding world, and when it did it burned with a passion that is all consuming and unquenchable. It cannot be ignored.

The secret affair had spanned many years. Long after their children had grown up and were almost finished in Hogwarts the couple were still meeting in secret. They always met somewhere different to avoid detection, and they never had a rota. It was always random. They would go without seeing each other for months, then, under the pretense of attending a conference or something similar, they would take a break for a week or ten days. Alone, secluded and private. But that had all changed in the last few years. Both their marriages failed, and their respective partners had demanded to have no further contact with them. Their children however were to have total access to both parents. The awkwardness between the divorced couples was such that eventually, the two current lovers were forced to leave their jobs for another. They both sought teaching positions at Hogwarts and were both successful. They had requested to share quarters, both claiming that it would be easier to have company that they were used to, given what they had been through in the past. Sleeping arrangements would have been tricky had it not been for Dobby. Harry begged Dobby to be the only House-Elf to enter their quarters, to which the house-elf readily agreed. Dobby had also promised never to reveal what he saw or heard in the rooms, and so the secret remained safe.

But finally they could suppress it no more. In a spectacular show of affection and devotion, Harry had proposed to his long time lover on Valentines Day in the Great Hall, in front of the very surprised teaching staff and the dumbfounded pupils. There had been much cheering and applause and no questions had ever been asked about how it happened. In fact it was greatly agreed amongst the teaching staff that this match was far better than either of their first matches. The ceremony itself had been simple. There were not many people whom the couple had wanted to attend, and even less people whom they wanted to turn away. But eventually they had agreed that for the sake of privacy and seclusion, a small ceremony attended by just 50 people (as opposed to the original 450) was the best option. The happy faces in the pictures are flawless. Nowhere can the guilt and sadness that those who should have been present had not arrived, be seen. It was as perfect as it could possibly have been.

Harry sighed again as he breathed in the faint scent of strawberries from his lovers hair. Turning around and wrapping long slender arms around his neck and pressing warm familiar lips to his own, his lover echoed his sigh.

"I'm sorry that things haven't been easy." came the soft voice. Harry closed his eyes, there was no such thing as a private thought when you were with the one who knew you better than anyone, "But I just want you to know that I wouldn't change what we have for anything. Not even for all the chocolate covered strawberries in the world." Harry chuckled,

"I love you" he said clearly as he looked into the hypnotizing eyes that seemed to pierce his soul,

"I love you too" came the reply. They kissed as deeply and passionately as they had on their wedding night; every touch of the lips swearing a blood oath, every sigh a promise to always be faithful, every breath a plea to never be left alone. Every movement was as perfectly synchronized as an Olympic ice-skating pair, but as unpredictable as those of a wild tiger. Even after all their years together they were still learning more about each other every day, still learning how to please each other and to comfort each other. Yet everything they did was an double act. If one of them moved a finger, the other would shift similarly, it was like gravity moving between them, forcing them to adapt to the other's every wish and movement.

When they broke apart Harry once again looked into the deep, passion-filled eyes that bored into his own,

"Happy Valentines Day love."

"Happy Anniversary baby"

**A/N: **Like it? Hate it? Either way leave a review! All comments are appreciated! I apologize for any errors, I'm writing this at 3am and am posting it right away. Like I said my computer crashed so I am only getting it typed now, not just posted. So this is un-beta'd. Also my other fic, OHBFT will be updated this week, maybe even twice. So click the very big button below and leave a review!


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